Wednesday, November 21, 2007

You could've had everything

Yesterday I was walking to the police station to file my missing ID-card. I still don’t have a new bike, so I had to walk there. Face To Face was playing on my headphones. I put on the album Reactionary. That’s still my favorite Face To Face record. It reminds of some relationships that broke up and the shitty years that followed. Not just because of the relationships, but just because I really began to fuck up a few things.

Walking through Utrecht, a little bit of rain coming down, cold wind in my face and listening to Face To Face…. I suddenly became immensely melancholic. I watched the leaves fall from the trees, being blown out on the streets, raindrops covering my glasses like tears and chills went up and down my spine because of the wind and the way too short jacket I was wearing.

But most of all it was the music that reminded me of a time I thought I was living my life to the fullest. Partying and stuff…. But at the same time I made a few mistakes that I now not so much regret, but I would sure as hell do things differently. Songs like “You could’ve had everything” or “Best defense” sound like they sounded like eight years ago. I have changed though. And I like that.

Music always gets me in a certain mood. Wether it is killing someone, loving someone, getting my shit back together, just chill, remembering good times or remembering bad times. It’s like fuel for a day of hard work. But most of all it’s a soundtrack to a certain mood or period of my life.

When I play Guns N’ Roses I’m soloing on my air-guitar in my old room. Type-O-Negative reminds me of drinking beer and smoking cigarettes by candlelight in Andreas’ attic. Backfire! makes me shove empty beer cans out of the car at 100 m/ph. Maximum Penalty makes me listen to the first mix tape I made for what was soon to be my first girlfriend and Face To Face sometimes reminds me of a time my world was fuzzy and insecure.

Today I’ll settle with Guns N’ Roses. Hell yeah!